The Weight of the Nation...

When I travel, I feel like it's my duty to dispel all of the American stereotypes and set a good example. That's a lot of pressure - talk about the weight of the nation on your shoulders. How do you prove you're not entitled, loud, ignorant, insular, fearful, etc, etc...?? Oh, right, because I'm none of those things. I can't tell you how many people have told me after we get to know each other, that I'm not what they expected. Or, my absolute favorite, "You're not so bad for an American...". The amount of posturing and embarrassment when someone asks me, "Where are you from?", becomes a bit unbearable. And they always ask you, second question after "What's your name?". I've tried to lie in the past, "I'm Canadian" (everyone loves Canadians). That didn't fly while traveling with Canadian friends who absolutely would not allow me to claim their nation, outing me immediately, with a cruel smirk akin to teasing a sibling. So then, I'm an American and a liar, way to get off on the right foot. Now, my answer has become something to the effect of, "I'm from The States, but I'm not so bad, I promise". I must be instilling confidence in everyone I meet with that opener. But, when I'm feeling particularly discouraged or exhausted by my position in the world, I say, "I'm from Hawaii" (which is true), because that sounds like a tropical oasis with little political conflict, full of coconuts and sunshine (which is also true).

There are people who will completely disregard you the moment you say the 'A word' and you just have to give up and move on. Sometimes, you just can't win. Convincing someone that you are not aligned with the media, politics, policies, majorities, and generalizations of the United States, and the way others view us, is not an easy task. And believe me, the entire world is exponentially more educated about us than we are about them. Why would we pay attention to the world when "America is #1!" in our insular nation??  My motorbike driver in Vietnam enthusiastically yelled that to me with his finger high and proud in the air - I wanted to disappear.

I really wish I had pride for my country the way so many others do. I think it's a really beautiful and poetic thing to be so deeply routed in your culture and heritage. To die, fight, defend... ugh, so much violence! And no, I'm not ungrateful for the privileged life I've been able to lead buried in student debt, paying exorbitant rates for health insurance, getting raped by taxes, and growing up with too much money to qualify for free lunch, but not enough money to actually buy it. And I do have freedom of speech, I didn't grow up in the projects, and I've always had a roof over my head and food in my belly (nod to all the single moms out there). The oppression I face as a woman, not to be diminished in our first world culture, is minor compared to the oppression others face worldwide. I'm lucky to have been born into my position, but it doesn't mean I have to be enthusiastic about the way our nation is heading.

I've traveled through the Bush era, and have seen the positive change in reception through the Obama presidency; who is in office matters. In the wake of this election, with Trump in the white house, I should just tell everyone I'm from Mars, because I guarantee that would definitely go over better. I even offered my hand in marriage to the best foreign passport holding suitor out of despair, while balling my eyes out as the election results rolled in. Initially, I was conflicted about leaving for three months during this pivotal presidential debacle. But then I realized, I needed to be true to myself, to continue to explore, learn, and absorb other cultures. On this journey, I will inevitably be asked by everyone I meet about this election, about what it means for us, and I'll learn what it means for them. I've had very candid and honest conversations with people of other cultures about how they view us from the outside, and I've managed to change a few minds for the better. So, I'm not running away, I'm trudging on, in the field, as an ambassador of our nation. Convincing one person at a time with my best face forward, proving that, we're all not so bad.